After years of studying, working in the field, passing the licensing exam I finally was able to open the doors to my very own practice.
After over ten years of working in this field I had my own ideas of what worked and what didn’t, what made sense and how I wanted to treat my client. I even though about how to adapt proven techniques to work with a diverse population, especially women and people of color.
Things overall have been going well and we have had the opportunity to serve quite a few people, families and couples in the community we love. As a result people have felt heard, the work makes sense and is adaptable to their lives; most importantly they have seen results.
Counseling is no longer a high level idealistic principals to live by but actions steps that work and can be taken every day.
People are learning that their life can change one day at a time and that they are in control of that. Building self-esteem and taking control. People are taking this hard thing called life and turning it into an enjoyable ride.
Therapy is no longer unattainable for the masses and everyone can benefit.
Working with Children
The most amazing qualities about children is their compassion and ingenuity. Children are our most precisions resource and are the most susceptible to life’s twist and turns.
Ideally parents want to keep their children safe and happy. However, as our children grow and go to school, after-school, sport teams and other clubs we as parents are no longer able to protect them from the harsh realities of life.
Issues like cyber bullying or real word bullying, body issues, oversharing in various social media platforms and relationship building are just a few of the challenges our children face today. Something as innocent seeming as a disagreement on the bus can lead to a child being phased out of a social group.
These life events can dampen the brightness of our children and have long lasting effects seen into adulthood. The question is how do we prepare our children for life in this environment? How do we build their self-esteem?
The simplest thing is keeping the lines of communication open. Starting early and staying consistent is the most important thing.
A child having someone they can talk to in a nonjudgmental space with no expectations is vital. It doesn’t matter if its in the form of family therapy, individual therapy or coaching so you can talk to your child we can help.
A common issue we get with couples is “they just don’t listen or understand”. At least that is the first thing we hear.
After we dig a little more we find out that its much simpler than that. The couples are often saying the same thing but, the way they are saying it just doesn’t make sense to their partner.
Regardless of how long a couple has been together unless the couple has agreed on a common language there will be miscommunication. One partner can say “you didn’t do the dishes” and the other partner can hear ‘how come you never clean anything I can’t believe the dishes aren’t done’. This can very easily become an argument and be one more issue in a laundry list of issues that can never be solved.
When issues like these start arising it is easy for couples to stop talking become indifferent. Often people think indifference is accommodating the other party however indifference is really moving into a state of hopelessness and feeling stuck. The couple slowly become resentful of each other but stay out of comfort or convenience. This can lead to an unfulfilling relationship or infidelity.
But it doesn’t have to stay this way.
Your relationship should be fulfilling supportive and loving. Communication is the cornerstone of all strong relationships romantic or otherwise.
Three Pumps of Wealth
Advisors will tell you to have three streams of income for financial stability. The same is true for your health.
For overall health one should address issues of the mind, body and spirit.
For the body – participate in a healthy diet and physical activities.
For the spirit – attend religious institutions or in spirituality practices such as donations, and volunteering.
The mind is the most challenging. Without balance the mind will run till exhaustion. When that happens, people are depressed or anxious. The body becomes sluggish. Spiritual practices decreases. Auto pilot kicks in then the joy of life is gone and they are in a fog. When awareness of their state hits they typically go into “the midlife crisis”.
Trying to quickly engage in activities and purchases that are designed to give them with rushes and allowing them to experience small thrills and recapturing youth .
Today, individuals are experiencing between two to three midlife crises.
1. Their twenties after an individual has worked for years or graduated college and started working.
2. The mid to early forty after family life has started and years have been spent in the work force.
3. Retirement hits and the individual is faced with the question what now?
The Power of You
We noticed an uptick in people with of self-doubt.
Although a little self-doubt is understandable. Today we are focusing on what you need to understand your power.
The human spirit is unbreakable it’s endured famine, slavery, genocide and continue to survive & thrive. Humans are not the fiercest creatures but the most adaptable. We can create weapons & safe havens.
People are often focused on how they don’t measure up instead of of focusing on their potential. By simply identifying your strengths and what makes you happy. People will focused on what makes them happy they are motivated, they are excited for life and bring joy to themselves and other.
Although this seems simple people do not do not ask themselves what makes me happy?
People are afraid to focus on themselves out of fear or shame. We are taught to sacrifice for the further and for our family. The focus on education & buying material goods.
Instead of finding out your passion and enjoying your day to day life. Infusing your life with joy is the easiest way to realize your true potential. We encourage you to ask yourself what makes you happy and how you can take time each day for your passion.
Some of the best films have a character that helps the hero/heroin achieve a goal and go on to defeat the villain.
The guide although important is never the main character. They show up impart knowledge, training and encouragement. The guide then departs from the story or watches from afar.
Then the hero is off to conquer the villain and save the day.
Although today there are few evil villains as big as Darth Vader or Kylo Ren. Hero’s every day are facing villains. Regardless if the villain is a bully, a divorce, or trauma. There is always a point in every hero’s life a guide will be needed.
Being open to searching for the right guide and working with them to strengthen their powers and highlighting their path.
The Determination of Puppy
Our therapy dog in training is a young Cocker Spaniel. This little guy despite being small will often take on things that seem impossible. He often holds his ground against pit bulls and rottweilers.
Every day he runs into the every single room in hopes of capturing the kids stuff animals as they are his favorite chew toys. Everyday he collects up to ten different stuff animals. Despite the toys always getting taken from him and being told “no” daily, then placed out of his reach. This little guy continues to try. His determination is aspiring.
He lends himself to the example of determination and perseverance will see you through. Although things can become difficult and obstacles are placed in your path, if you continue with the same determination and excitement when you first started success will come.
People often lose interest in their goals and New Years resolutions and their visions of ‘the new them’ fade. They say they will try again, or life is to busy.
The truth is to accomplish any goals is determination and enthusiasm. As the puppy has demonstrated success is a daily endeavor. Sometimes that takes a little encouraging and other times it takes a little clarification.